When the Bucket is Bone-Dry: Paying Back Your Self-Care Debts

If we’ve been foregoing effective self care for a long time, the unfortunate reality is that it will take a while for us to see the difference.  When my twins went to school for the first time, I think I spent six months just finishing up all the things I HAD to do to be healthy.  There was no new, renewed Serenity.  I went to the doctor, the dentist, and the eye doctor.  I started eating fresh fruits and vegetables again, now that I had time to do more than mainline goldfish.  At the time, I felt like I was wasting my time.  All that work, and nothing to show for it?  My house wasn’t even cleaner and I was no closer to figuring out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. 

At the same time, the metaphor came to life as I started going around my house and fixing all the things that were broken, damaged, or downright dangerous.  For 5 years, we’d gotten by on the bare minimum, and it took a lot of work to put things back to rights.  I rented one of those Rug Doctors and went over the floor time after time, watching all the grime come out.  I repaired light fixtures and cleaned out mountains of old toys and baby clothes.  Throughout the whole process, my house didn’t look any different.  If anything, it looked worse.  It’s only now, a few years later that you would notice the repainted rooms, art finally hung on the walls, and clean shelves and tables. 

It takes time to refill a bucket that is bone dry.  It can be really demoralizing.  We have to take it on faith that self care efforts will result in positive life changes.  I’m here to say that it really is true. Every little bit helps.  Forrest says, after I’ve run a whopping 10 minutes in a row, “That’s 10 minutes more than you ran yesterday!”  The beauty of changing culture, both within ourselves and without, is that the small accumulation of effort becomes the basis for a larger transformation.

We all want there to be some big revelation, some moment where we transcend our past and become a whole new creature.  I agree that there are some events that divide life into “before” and “after” but in my experience, they’re rarely good things, and even those bring transformation through a slow recovery process.  Self-care is the same.  Each step taken replenishes our debt.  Each choice made helps us reconnect to ourselves.  Each act gets us closer to becoming a connection builder.

What small self-care act are you taking today?