The Best and Worst Trip Ever: Embracing Adventure
Last week was the third time our family has gone on our now-annual train trip up into the Cascade Mountains. Or, as I like to think of it, the anniversary of the best and worst trip I have ever planned. The first time we went had all the potential for disaster. First, I didn’t bring anything to do on the train. I thought just the novelty would be enough…for three kids…for three hours. What was I thinking? Plus it was dark, so they couldn’t even look out the windows. Then, on the other side, I didn’t know that trains get delayed. What did I think, Mussolini was running things? We woke up at 4:30 for a 6 am train that was delayed four hours after a hard trip through the Rockies. Our shuttle didn’t come until 8:30 and then once we were there it was another hour either in a too-small prefab waiting area or outside in the snowy mountains.
But it wasn’t the worst trip ever. In fact, it was one of the best. My kids remember me telling cat stories for three hours on the train. They loved it – full attention from mom and dad with no distractions. Then a day of snow and swimming, everything kids could want. And on the way back, they got to watch TV for two hours first thing in the morning, then a big breakfast and then? We went to the train platform which we discovered was heated. The girls build a pile of coats and bags and camped out under it happily, all under the shadow of the mountains. Then, we all fell asleep on the way back and made it home in time for dinner.
Like that vacation, life, and especially life lived with other people, is either a difficulty or an adventure. I can lament how people do everything wrong, or I can marvel at how we are all so unique. I can worry about late trains or I can build a fort on the heated sidewalk. I can let quirks drive me crazy or I can use people’s gifts to help me when I’m at my wits’ end. Can we help each other parent difficult children? Can we use different perspectives to navigate complicated situations? Can we use the combinations of organization and spontaneity to bring both structure and fun to life?
Only if we bring the relaxation, vulnerability, and appreciation to be flexible, open and ready to embrace each other. We need to change our culture from one where difference means disagreement and complexity means inconvenience. One choice at a time, one conversation at a time, we can build communities where people are invited to be who they are and welcomed to contribute what they can.
How can you reframe difficulty into adventure? How can you welcome people in on the fun?
