Let It Snow: Learning to Be Still

It’s been snowing here this last week, and that’s hard for me.  On the one hand, I love to sit and watch the snow enjoying the cozy feeling of being inside.  On the other hand, in Seattle, the snow removal plan is to wait for it to rain.  If we get more than a dusting, everything is shut down until the temperature gets over 40 degrees.

And I had plans.  I had a to-do list full of appointments and errands, not even considering the home stuff I could feasibly do except that I have three kids who need to go into and out of the snow 10 times in a single day.  I once read that Nora Roberts wrote her first book while snowed in one winter.  She must have had noise-cancelling headphones.

But more than the interruption of my plans, it’s really uncomfortable for me to just sit still.  After all, I could be doing snow science experiments with my kids!  Or cleaning out my closet!  Or doing yoga!  Or, or, or.  It’s hard to say no to those things.  We live in a culture that is always asking more.  After all, if anything is achievable with hard work, we are basically giving up on our dreams if we take a break, right?  If we choose to live slowly and never get to where we wanted to be in life, it’s all our fault.

What a precarious place to exist.  I know we don’t all live our lives in the shadow of that culture but it’s out there, ready to pounce.  Relaxation takes vulnerability.  And people who disagree with the value of taking time to just be – those people can be very hurtful.  After all, anyone who abhors laziness isn’t going to understand the difference between peaceful relaxation and an unwillingness to work.

How do we fight back against those feelings of “not enough-ness”?  Well, I do it by remembering that I’m working hard to create a new culture.  A culture, however small, that says, yes, work hard sometimes, but don’t forget, your worth is not determined by how useful you are.  I have permission to look lazy so that I can make it clear that in this house, it’s you we want, not your work.

It may seem like such a semantic difference, but I do not think it could be more important.  Most of us will outlive our usefulness to this world.  The U.S. is plagued with suicides by people who are aging and think they’re no longer necessary.  We are more than what we can do for others.  Don’t forget your own infinite value – and don’t let the people around you forget it either.  The world is a better, more interesting place because you’re here.  Don’t buy into the lie that you’re simply needed –you’re also wanted.

So, in the midst of yet another snow shower, I’m going to choose to not only sit still, but enjoy it.  I’m going to read that book by the fireplace.  I’m going to play a card game with them.  I’m going to wear pajamas all day and cook comfort food.  And at the end of the day, I’m going to go to sleep smiling.

Serenity DillawayComment