Day Seven: Connect to Your Fears

I just saw a quote from author Kate Bowler, “We are a nation addicted to optimism.” Wow, in the midst of all of this I have never felt that to be more true. Because all I see around me is the most optimistic, “We can do it!” attitudes in the midst of seriously bleak predictions and unknowable futures. At this point, I’ve been home with both kids and husband for about two and half weeks. And I’ve felt less than optimistic a lot.

It took me about a week and a half to finally give up the ghost. For that first week, I was strong, I was excited, this was good family time, we were going to get through this! And then they shut down the restaurants, and told us not to see anyone else, and said the teachers couldn’t even contact the students until they got this whole thing figured out with the state superintendent. At that point, I got afraid. Afraid of getting sick. Afraid of getting so sick that we can’t care for the kids. Afraid that after this, there will be no way to keep the economy afloat and we’re in for another recession, another depression.

All of those fears are still here. But until I acknowledge them, they’re going to control me. Once I can look them in the eye, connect with not only the legitimacy of my fears but also my ability to navigate them, then I can begin to move forward. We decide what we need to do, manage our fears, and then move forward. But if we skip that middle step, we’re going to stumble. We’re going to act selfishly or hurtfully or turn inward when we need to be reaching out.

So, today, what are you afraid of? What will you need to mitigate that fear?