Day Eight: Connect to Grief

I’ve seen a lot of hot takes recently that play on the feelings of, “Other generations have had to do much harder things, what are you complaining about?” I’ve never been a big fan of playing Suffering Olympics because it seems pointless to me. If you’re in pain, it doesn’t make it less that someone is in more pain. In fact, if you refuse to deal with your own pain, you’ll eventually be so exhausted from trying to ignore it that you’ll be of no use to anyone.

So, yes, other people have had it worse. But this is not a small thing. We’ve given up much of our sense of normalcy, many of our routines, and a lot of our certainty about the future. Does any of us think the world will be the same after this? It’s ok to grieve that change. I am sad that my kids don’t get to have a regular school year. I am sad for all the weddings, funerals, graduations and celebrations that are cancelled. I am sad for all the small things that I will have to let go of, all the plans I worked for that are changing. I am grieving, the emotion we feel when we lose something that was important to us.

Until we admit that grief is a part of our life, in both big and small ways, we will spend a lot of energy trying to run away from or ignore it. At the same time, honoring our grief allows us to be thankful for all the things we have had and still do. I am sad about losing my sense of safety, but that brings out the sacred joy I feel when I get to have those moments back. I get to play outside with my kids and dance to the radio and cook good food and be more thankful for those things than I have been in a long time.

What are you grieving today, big or small? How can you honor that?