Day 10:

I think a lot of us have been pushed to our limits over the last few months. Whether that has been the limits of our time, patience, or money, we’re hitting the wall. Just last night I said to Forrest, “I have so much to do and usually, I would just do one of those Saturdays where I go sit in the library and work all day but our weekends are so full of house work that I don’t have time then anyway.”

In some ways, being pushed to our limits is good. We know how much we can stand then and usually, it’s more than we would have predicted. But if we do it for too long, it breaks connection. I would be lying if I pretended that this quarantine has been happy family times for us. We’ve had good moments, yes, but everyone at their limits does not lend itself to harmony.

That’s why, in community, it’s good to think about limits before you hit them. What drives you crazy? What is too overwhelming? What behavior hurts you? What moments in the past have hit you harder than you expected them to?

I think it’s hard for many of us to accept that we have limits, especially in relationships. How is it legitimate that I don’t want to join you on a fun multi-family hike? Am I really so immature that I can’t stand to have people make fun of my hair going grey? Why am I nervous to cook for the potluck?

But whether we like them or not, our limits exist. Maybe we can work on stretching and growing, but not until we accept, without judgement, that our limits exist. Figure it out before someone pushes on a tender spot so you can gently let them know that this is a line for you. It’s ok to not be ok with some things.