Undoing the Lie: Valuing People Through Generosity

Generosity is one of the most connective values we have because it helps other people to see their infinite worth. 

Bold statement, I know, from a woman who regularly thinks, “That’s 10 minutes of my life I will never get back,” after hearing about my kid’s classmate who does such zany things as “make up words” and “walk backwards sometimes.” 

But if we start with the postulate that human beings are creatures who possess inherent worth (i.e., you are valuable beyond just your usefulness, monetary worth, or beauty), then this world really sucks at communicating that.  Almost everything in our society works to tell people that there is a scale of worthiness and you are definitely not at the top.  Also, that all the bad things you have ever done in your whole life serve to decrease that value so that babies are super valuable and certain types of people are less than trash.

I’m going to step out on a limb here and say that whole scheme is a complete fucking desecration of the truth.  And if we want to build strong connections with people, part of our role is to show them that we see more than that lie.  There are a lot of ways to communicate that infinite worth but one of the best ways is to practice true generosity.  Giving beyond what is expected – giving beyond what is normal – giving beyond what is comfortable.

That type of giving says one thing: you deserve good things, lots of them, for no reason other than your humanity.  It doesn’t have to be material.  Generosity of time and energy are important because people notice when you make them a priority; giving of your time makes them feel important. They especially notice when you do it without looking at your watch. Generosity can be emotional; the generosity of spirit that makes people feel welcome at your table, the hug that is needed, the humor when someone is in a foul mood.  It says, “You are worthy of welcome; you are deserving of affection; you are allowed comfort in times of trouble.”

When we are willing to communicate those things through action, words, and, occasionally, baked goods, we’re once again changing our culture bit by bit.  We’re building webs of connection that feed people and in turn allow them to feed others.  We’re changing our world, one kindness at a time.