Trial and Error
A friend of mine recently had a baby and she just posted something about missing out on some of those typical newborn moments due to Covid. She mentioned missing out on Mommy and Me and swimming
A friend of mine recently had a baby, and instead of spending her maternity leave doing baby class and playdates, she’s had to spend it away from family and friends and nervously awaiting the day she needs to put her little one in daycare to go back to work as a teacher. When I first thought of her being stuck at home, I thought to myself, well, if there’s a time of life to hang out at your house, it’s with a newborn. Going out with a baby is such a pain in the butt I hardly wanted to do it at all when I had one.
But the more I thought about it, the more I thought about how often I needed to get out of the house as a new mother. When I had an infant, I spent a lot of time with other parents at the same stage, just…being together. Watching and seeing that, yes, babies develop at different paces and, yes, we all are exhausted, and yes, sitting around watching a baby all day is not always the happy golden moments we’ve longed for. Sometimes it’s just…boring. Those friendships were essential to me, because in addition to the commiseration, I learned a lot of tips and tricks. It was as if we were all learning through trial and error, but I had four or five other people’s errors to learn from.
Learning how to make our communities stronger is better if we can learn from other people’s errors. Maybe you already have something that you’re working on, or maybe you’ve got a cause dear to your heart that you need to get started doing. Either way, linking up with other people in the same boat is going to serve you well. The work of creating a better world is hard and often demoralizing, just like parenting. It helps to have people who are going through it with you, and people who have done it before.
So where do we find these people? Often, they’re already in organizations that are helping and there Google is our best friend. Even if there isn’t an branch in your exact location, check out the closest one. Perhaps they serve both areas or they would if they had more help. Another place to look is amongst friends. Do you share common interests? Maybe try volunteering together. I find anything I try with a friend is much more likely to happen that if I had just tried alone. Lastly, read books, articles and interviews with the people who have worked on this problem before, especially if they are local. This is simple, easy and takes no bravery at all. And every step taken, no matter how small, is one step farther than you were before.
What step can you take today?
