Travel and Travails
We’re headed out of town soon on a big vacation. We’ve done three this year, the three vacations we had originally planned for the covid years. Forrest thought that because the whole world got shut down that he was going to get out of them. Ha! Instead, we did three in one year.
Traveling with my kids is one of my favorite things to do. It’s also one of my least favorite things to do, because it’s hard. Even with them at the ages they are, it’s not easy. They’re not picky eaters, but they’re not adventurous either. They don’t always sleep well in new places. They go and go and go until they drop, and then all hell breaks loose. And when three tween girls are stuck in tight quarters, hell breaking loose is very loud.
But that’s why I love it. Our kids, like most American kids, live a very comfortable life. There’s enough food, warm clothes, shelter and toys and friends and family that are just crazy about them. I wouldn’t change a single thing about their lives. It’s good for them to grow up believing that the world is a place that is full of good things and good people and that they deserve those good things and that they are part of that cycle and will one day be expected to create more good things for the children of tomorrow.
On the other hand, travelling is frequently uncomfortable. Things are different, or unpleasant, or inconvenient. And that’s good for my kids. Because they learn to adapt. No one wants to have to sleep on the floor of an airport or on a bench in a train station or an overcrowded hotel room, but I believe that everyone should at least once. Nothing gives you an appreciation for the finer things in life like a night spent uncomfortably.
One of my favorite memories with my family happened when the twins were 5 and my eldest was 7. We were going up to a town in the mountains and because I didn’t want to have to worry about snow chains or getting stuck in the pass, we decided to take the train. Unfortunately, on the way back, the train was scheduled to come at 6:00 am. So, we got up early, packed up, and waited for the hotel shuttle. We were waiting in the lobby when the hostess told us that the train was delayed and that the shuttle would come in two hours when it was time.
So we asked for our key back, went back upstairs, let the kids watch some TV and then went to grab breakfast at the buffet. The shuttle eventually came and got us and then left us at the station, which had a manufactured building but nothing else.
The train was delayed for another two hours, and that manufactured building got pretty stuffy. Eventually, we schlepped out to the platform just to let the kids play around for awhile. We’d been awake for about three hours when one of the twins called out, “The ground is warm!” It turned out that the train platform had heated pavement and, well, one thing led to another and then there was a giant nest of kids, coats, and luggage sprawling over the empty ground.
Eventually, people meandered over to wait for the train and I like to think that some of them were charmed by the three little girls building a playhouse out of suitcases. And a little while after that, the train came, blazing a way through the snow that had fallen over the weekend. We ate a sleepy breakfast on board and came home to take naps. And I don’t remember the headache I’m sure I had, or the whining that definitely happened. What I remember is my kids learning that hard moments aren’t simply endurable – they can be an adventure.
I don’t know what the world will look like when my children are adults. It’s still being built. That’s the challenge of modern parenting. How can we prepare them for something that we can’t predict? The answer, of course, is in the question. We teach them how to cope with the unpredictable. How to be flexible and inventive. How to remain calm and compassionate in stressful times. And how to create spaces of calm in the middle of chaos.
So we travel. Even though it’s hard and annoying and stressful – no, because it’s hard and annoying and stressful. See you on the other side!
