Day 6: Explore Your Values
Forrest and I spend winter having many lively debates about what to grow in our garden. (I know, kids, adult life is glamorous.) He likes to grow the plants we like best and lots of them. I think if it were up to him, he’d plant 3 full beds each of potatoes, lettuce, and onions. They’re guaranteed successes and pretty low maintenance. Me, on the other hand, I like to have a variety. I’m always wanting to try the weird multicolored tomatoes or the new type of watermelon, both of which will be a pain in the butt to grow and maybe not even produce anything before our short summer is over.
The ideal garden for us looks very different and those differences reflect our values. We end up debating those values for what seems like hours and then figuring out some sort of compromise. But before we started spending long, boring winter evenings talking about it, we just drove each other crazy, both of trying to achieve our own goals within the same small space.
Community can be similarly conflicting. It means different things to different people. When you think of community, what do you think of? Do you imagine knowing everyone at the grocery store, greeting people on the street, and feeling like your neighborhood is connected? Or do you want a close-knit group of friends who you can count on for anything and who help each other out in real ways? Or do you want an activated group of citizens working to make your town better in some way?
Each of these conceptions reflects your values. When we’re figuring out how to turn connection habits into a community, it can seem overwhelming. There are so many people, so many opportunities to pursue and of course, if we’re not careful, we’ll burn out. So start leaning into connection building habits but at the same time, start asking yourself, what am I interested in building?
Do you want a community marked by friendliness, hospitality, and openness? Do you want loyalty, trust, and mutual support? Do you want vision, optimism, and progress from your community? When I look at this list, I think, well, I want them all. Ask yourself today, which do I want most?
