Day 2: Needs

Back when I was in grad school, one of the first tools we learned to use was a needs assessment. When someone is in crisis, the first thing to do was to look deeply at what was needed. This is important, because what looks like the core need is often not at all what is needed. Just Saturday, Rowan was upset because the light she has isn’t bright enough for reading by at bedtime, and so she needed me to buy her a new teal clip-on bedside lamp immediately and no, not that teal one, she doesn’t like the buttons, it must be the teal one she saw in a catalog 3 months ago and how could I not remember which one she wanted?

The stated need is a brighter light for bedtime. And while that may be a problem in her life, my instincts led met to explore further and together, we realized that she’s sad and, like many of us, she thought buying a new shiny thing would help her feel better. It probably would, for awhile, but the sad wouldn’t go away, not really, because what she’s sad about is she can’t see any of the people she loves and her birthday is next week and there will be no friends there. (If you look back at my past blogs – I called it, didn’t I? Supermom!)

Community (or a lack thereof) can look the same. What seems like frustration might be loneliness, what seems like too little time might be misplaced priorities. So, try thinking deeply today. What is missing? Is it hard conversations about past hurts? Is it consistent scheduling that makes it easy to get together? Is a lack of vulnerability getting in the way of connection?

What are you missing in your community today?