Community Magic: Gratitude and Joy
Forrest and I both just finished reading Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer. First of all, if you haven’t read it, you should. Really, you should listen to the audiobook if you can because her voice is the most soothing, most restful voice I have ever heard. But secondly, our discussions around the book have led us to start thinking and talking about gratitude a lot more. In the book, she talks a lot about having a culture of reciprocity, of being willing to both give and take, and of realizing how much we receive from nature without having to work for it at all.
As gardeners, we both got it. A lot of gardening is hard work, but a lot of it is also waiting and letting the sun, soil and plant do its work. It pays to be thankful for what we get that we could never make ourselves. No matter how hard I try, I cannot make a carrot from scratch. I can only be joyful that the carrot will grow in the environment I have provided.
I think community is the same way. We bring these people together, maybe doing a lot of work to organize, cook, and host. Maybe we even spend years learning how to be vulnerable, generous or compassionate. But the whole that comes out of community is more than the sum of its parts. Choosing joy requires me to notice that. To look away from the hours spent cleaning my house and instead see the relationships that sustain us all.
There is a magic to community done well. It lasts far longer than it should and often with far less effort than it seems. So much goes into getting it all started and pulling everything together, and then we get to sit back and watch the alchemy of personalities work together to transform us all into a larger unit. When I sit back and look at what that transformation has created, I have no choice to be grateful, and no choice but joy.
What parts of your community bring you joy? What moments, large or small, remind you that in all the messiness of personalities, in all the stresses of life, community brings goodness to the lives of the people it touches? If it’s not, what’s missing? Is it appreciation, or vulnerability? Is it habit or even self-care?
When choosing joy in community gets hard, I always start by looking within. Why don’t I feel safe enough to feel gratitude? Am I burnt out? Was I hurt and am struggling to forbear? Do I feel that my differences aren’t being appreciated?
Gratitude and joy go hand in hand, and when we’re failing to choose both, it’s not a failing – it’s a signal. Like a plant that isn’t producing, there’s no shame there, just concerns. Let’s listen to ourselves today both in our community and in ourselves. What’s keeping us from joy and gratitude today?
