Building on Each Other: Joy and Community
I’ve been told by some very reliable sources that I can be a bit controlling. It’s not that I necessarily care that things be perfect (as my very imperfect yard, house, cooking, clothes, writing, gardening, pets and general life will remind you). It’s that I want to make sure I’ve met all of my responsibilities so that I can relax. Put no obligations on me, and I am happy to sit around and do my own thing. But I do have responsibilities so I spend a lot of time trying to get my ducks in a row.
Those tendencies are not getting better trapped in a house with the same four people for months on end. Trying to make sure everyone is adequately fed, washed, schooled, comforted, and entertained is a little bit wearing for all of us. And with all that is going on in the world, if I only focused on my obligations, I would never have time for joy. I must choose it, and with that I must choose to risk dropping one of the many balls I try to keep in the air. I must choose to trust that those things will not break.
There is great vulnerability in giving into joy. Sometimes I feel a bit like a sheepdog, protecting the people and things that mean so much to me. I run around, heading off any potential threats, eyes always open, always scanning the horizon to make sure everything is all clear. When I stop to actually be with them, who’s watching the horizon?
That’s why I believe connected community is so foundational to choosing joy. When we are there for each other, offering compassion, practicing forbearance, accepting and supporting each other, we create a safety net for each other. Sometimes I look at my girls and I am overwhelmed with joy but also fear. Fear of losing these amazing people I love so much. And then I remember that whatever comes, I will not be alone. The fear isn’t completely gone, but I’m able to step into the joy a little bit more knowing there are dozens of people there to share my joy and help me shoulder those fears.
On the other side, choosing joy is essential to keeping connected community. We can be there for each other through hard things, giving each other vulnerability and generosity, but there’s nothing like joy to help ease difficult moments. Good memories tie us together, helping us trust each other and assume good faith when, like any relationship, things get sticky.
Community feeds into our ability to choose joy and choosing joy feeds into building a connected community. They both come together to build a life that’s richer than it was before, and a community that’s stronger than it would have been otherwise.
How can you choose joy today?
