But before we can start talking about practical solutions to real scarcity problems, we need to get our brains to stop seeing what we don’t have and start seeing what we do.

Again and again, a pattern emerged.  When we feel like we don’t have enough of something, our brains start to hyperfocus on it. 

The world will always have too many needs for you to meet.

Almost everything in our society works to tell people that there is a scale of worthiness and you are definitely not at the top. 

Yes, there are limits to what we can give and do, but if that’s all we see, we’re proclaiming the impossible without even trying.

We all know (or are) that person whose life is so filled with moving parts that just maintaining it requires so much energy that there’s none left to help anyone else.

Self-sacrifice can look like self-doubt.  Am I really in the right?  Could I have done that better?  Why would they act that way?

I think a lot of people have been taught for so long that they are the “ideas” people and maybe taught a little bit that other people are for making the ideas happen.

What’s on your self-care list for today?

But to think that engaging in the consistent hard work of community is going to be pretty, without complaint, and without pushback is a fairy tale. 

We forget that it’s okay to do things simply to remind our bodies and our minds that we are not the first to come, and we will not be the last to be here.

I love that in between the kvetching and sticky hands, they’re building a memory of a childhood where with enough will and imagination, there’s still some magic left.

But if we don’t talk about how being a connection builder can be hard, then we won’t survive the burnout.

So much for that feeling of “enoughness”. So much for bringing my unique skills to the table and being appreciated for all I am and bring.

I used to believe that there was one way to be a community builder and that way looked like a bustling middle aged lady.

Changing ourselves and changing our culture will happen little by little.  But only if we stop viewing that as not enough.

When we put our efforts into how our interactions appear instead of how they feel, we end up with weak connections.

If you’re doing this connection thing well, it’s possible you might never get any praise at all. 

I am a firm believer in giving your brain the mental space it needs to get used to the changes you’re making.

As I began to make connection more and more of a habit in my life, I paradoxically began to experience more and more loneliness.